Lacy Musketeer's Memorial Service at Rocket City

By Bixyl Shuftan


On Thursday July 25, shocking news came to Second Life as it was revealed that Lacy Musketeer (Lacy Wolfram in real life) had suddenly died. Her passing was sudden, and believed to be a heart attack. She is survived by her son Vincent Wolfram and her Second Life/real life partner Crim Mip. She knew many in Second Life, Oscelot Haalan and Amehana Ishtari considering themselves her SL sisters. Her loss was especially felt in Nisa, which she founded, and Rocket City, but she had friends in a number of places.

Two days later, a memorial service was announced on short notice at Rocket City. The event started at 6PM. It is believed about 45 people, maybe more, attended the event, the chairs filling up and a number sitting or standing beside the seating area. A number of people would speak, in both text and voice. Oscelot Haalan would transcribe for those using the later for those whose viewers couldn't use the voice function. Few left early, one who did saying, "I appologize but I have to go, just got a flash flood alert on my phone."

Koterie Itoku told the crowd, " I'm not going to use voice, because I'd just end up choking up and unable to speak. I originally didn't even know what furries were when I first logged into Second Life. Ironically, I had spent three years as friends with a bunch of people I met on Furcadia. (Yeah, I was not very quick on the uptake when I was younger) They are the ones who got me to try 'this new thing called Second Life.' And when I first logged in, one of them immediately sent me a teleport to this placed called Rocket City. I was greeted by a small army of people. But the one who stood out to me was Lacy. I was immediately ushered to a vendor to get my first non-sucky-human avatar. She made me feel at home and welcomed. I felt like I could open up to her and everyone here no matter what was on my mind. And it didn't take her very long to convince me to make Rocket City my home in SL.

"A few months later she convinced me to sell art sketches to afford a ticket to go to the convention and meet everyone for the first time.  A whole group showed up at the airport to pick me up, and it was the craziest, loveliest feeling ever. If you never got to hug Lacy in person, it was one of the best things I will remember about her. I felt like I had known her all my life and was coming home. She's the one who taught me how to use the build tools in SL.She's the one who asked me to give input on events and posters and event builds and eventually let me do them on my own..She cleaned up a kirin sketch I did once and made it into a design that could be printed on a shirt. I was amazed to see it on the table for sale at the convention. I still have that shirt in a plastic bag and have never worn it. It meant a lot to me. My art was never anything I felt worth bragging about or really charging money for, but she was always encouraging of it anyway.  Anything creative, she was there to support and champion. It brought out her spark and her passion and you could see it in everything she did here in SL, especially for this sim. But most importantly, she was that passionate about those of us she called her friends. And I count myself lucky to have been one of them for even the short time that I had in her life. I am happy to see so many of you here to help share and remember the lovely and beautiful things she said and did in our lives. Thank you."

Crim Mip was next, with Oscelot transcribing and apologizing for missing a few details, "Ok I'm going to try to do this in voice, we'll see how long this works until I have to switch to typing. Hopefully you can all hear me. Lacy was here the first night I came here. I was in my ringtail. She gave me the Lindens so I could get a decent avatar. Twenty minutes after I got here, I had somehow commited myself to going to the convention. Sami told me 'Oh you live in my area, you can ride with us' and I was committed at that point. And I met Lacy if not that night that week, and she seemed pretty neat. The thing I remember is she got me involved right away. She said 'Oh we have dances here, do you want to come help with that?' And I pretty much spent the next three years in SL here."

"It was strange going into a building I'd never seen before and knowing my way around. And I ran into lacy and she gave me a big hug. And I immediately felt welcome --- and that was something Lacy always did, she always made people feel welcome. Had a great time. Remember the crazy pool party she had Vince run.. he's much older now. And I was... kind of smitten at that poiint, but neither of us was available at that time. And somewhere along the line we both ended up single again, and... ended up together. And... she's... been my partner... both here and in real life for nine years.

"We've had various homes in Second Life. We've currently got some land on the mainland that we're going to... keep going, because she would have wanted that. And... she's always been an amazing artist and an amazing partner And like all artists she's never been entirely happy with her art even though it was amazing. I'm lucky to have a few pieces she did for me."

Hickerbop (FluffyQuokka Resident) was next, using voice and Oscelot transcribing, "Okay. Sorry if I'm a little weird on voice, I'm autistic. Um. Well, I guess I want to say a few things before I sing a song, but... I met Lacy through the Pony community when I was first joining.. well a few months after I had joined Second Life. When I joined second life I think I was 13 or 14 and ..." Hickerbop paused, then began singing, posting the lyrics for those who couldn't hear.

Time is an illusion that helps things make sense
So we are always living in the present tense
It seems unforgiving when a good thing ends
But you and I will always be back then
You and I will always be back then
Singing will happen, happening happened
Will happen, happening happened
And we will happen again and again
'Cause you and I will always be back then
You and I will always be back then
Will happen, happening happened
Will happen, happening happened
And we'll happen again and again
'Cause you and I will always be back then
If there was some amazing force outside
of time to take us back to where we were
And hang each moment up like pictures on the wall
Inside a billion tiny frames so we can see it all, all, all
It will look like, will happen, happening happened?
Will happen, happening happened
And there we are again and again
'Cause you and I will always be back then
You and I will always be back then
Will happen, happening happened
Will happen, happening happened
And
There we are again and again
'Cause you and I will always be back then
You and I will always be back then
You and I will always be back then
You and I will always be back then
That's why
You and I will always be best friends

There was much applause when Hickerbop finished, "Well done." "That was very beautiful."


Next was Alexander (Alexndeer Lobo), "Many of you probably do not know who I am.  It has been many years since I was active on Second Life.  I met Lacy online two years before we helped start RCFM the convention.   She won my heart with her first email.  She and I had many adventures together online and in real life. I want to share one of my favorite memories of Lacy.  I would pick her up on the way to RCFM.  The best part was our drives home after RCFM each year where we spent the entire drive brain storming about RCFM and the next year.  On one of those drives we bounced around the idea of building RCFM in Second Life.  We started with a triangle shaped wedge of land on the mainland and started building a replica of the convention hotel.  She and I were just beside ourselves with how the community continued to grow.  I will always Love her and the impact she had on my life.  I am so happy to see her legacy continuing in every one of you.

Alexander switched to voice, "Lacy held a special place in my heart. And we had a term for one another, which comes from a story. And that story, the term was 'ashki,' which means 'beloved.' While she and I may not have been as close in the last few years, she will always have a place in my heart, and I will always miss her."

 Next was Becky Nosferatu, "Let's see if lag actually permits me to do this. ... I'm going to give you a fair warning ahead of time that I swear like a sailor." A moderator responded, "It's okay tonight. I won't ban you." Becky continued, "When I first came to Second Life, I came to Second Life just because I wanted something new to do when I was 21. I wanted to continue to pursue technology and arts. For those who don't know who I am I run Magician Productions. We go way back. We made everything that Lacy and Koterie wore at one time. I was actually out of town when koterie messaged me and told me that lacy passed. I haven't actually talked to her in probably about a decade. She gave both me and Maya free spots in I think the old vendor forest. She made sure there was always a free spot when she redecorated. It's also really important to me because like Lacy, I also have a son.

" ... So when my son, destroyed my tablet accidentally... when he spilled a Pepsi can all over it, she replaced it. If she hadn't, Magican Productions would have died a lot sooner. I make mods now, not avatars. She was... a drive for a lot of creative influences, and I'm glad for that. I've never been a 'true furry' I should say, I just always liked to make nonhumans. I didn't live in the Rocket area, so I didn't know for the longest time that this was based off a convention. But that's the great thing about Second Life is that you can make anything you want, and Lacy helped me realize that.

"I'm so sorry to everyone who knew her way better than me. I can imagine the pain you're going through. I don't mourn easily but I can tell you know, I'm struggling. I hope that Rocket City stays until you know... Second Life goes under. It's very rare that you find a PG furry sim that allows everyone and everything to visit. And if it wasn't for Rocket City, I wouldn't be a proud owner of my own mall that has avatar--- And Rocket City ending the vendor forest is why I decided to make my own. And all of that is because of Lacy. I wouldn't be here still creating mods and everything creative if it wasn't for Lacy.

"One thing I do remember, and it's a funny story I gotta tell ya. When Maya made her Pennysnatchers, little itty bitty avatars, they're not even an inch. We - there was like - I want to say eight of us after she made them, we came bursting into Rocket City after - and anyone who saw us just saw these eight or nine little KFC buckets bouncing around." Becky thought someone mistook them for griefers, "So they messaged Lacy and Koterie and they showed up. And she was like 'Now you have to take off the buckets because I want to see what they are.' And so we did and she was like 'those are the cutest things I've ever seen.'

"Her death feels like a little bit of creativity died with it. And I'll be damned if I let it die completely. So for Lacy's sake, I'm going to keep modding, and I'm going to keep making everyone pretty - at least until I can't do it any more physically or Second Life ends. So... thank her for that."

 Speaking next was Jäger (DanielDerv Resident), ""Good evening, as you can tell from my voice I'm also a stranger and a foreigner. I've only met Lacy indirectly through my friends but her impact has sent ripples through our lives. Lacy has left you with... I have never met her but I regret this fact in my life - but I know that we are made of the same things - dreams. We must make her proud of it. I am also the owner of a group that seeks creativity and to foster wonder in life. And I am taking the time to do this because I believe in people like you and like Lacy. And even though we don't know each other, we are all out there. And even though I don't know you, I love you all. And I love Lacy. And I wish her the best in her journey. But for now, we must dream on."

Maya Remblai was next, "My mike is on the other side of the room, so I'm just gonna type. So like Becky said, she and I go way back with Rocket City, in Second Life. I remember when it was still the hotel build. That was one of the first place I sold my avatars in fact, and it was because Lacy and Koterie invited me. When I started making original things, besides fanart. And yeah, the first release party I ever did, and most of the ones after, were here, led by Lacy. I'm not much for words, but I just wanted to come forward as another person whose life was affected, for the better, by Lacy.

"I've not been real active in SL for years, because my skills just don't match up to these newfangled technologies, heh. But even so I'd hear from Lacy now and then, and other Rocket City folks. Way back, in like 2007-2008, I was having a really hard time in real life. I had lost my job due to disability and it took a long time for government benefits to start. In the meantime, Second Life paid for my meds. I know for certain I wouldn't have done as well as I did without all of Lacy's efforts to get my work out there. I could see where my sales came from and the vast majority were from here. So y'know...that just shows me how kind Lacy was. I never got to meet her in real life, but I didn't really need to. I just want y'all that were closer to her, to know I mourn with you. That's all I got."

Next before the gathering was Nava Winthorpe, whom spoke in text, "Lacy and I were very close in both of my stints on SecondLife. In many ways, she was like a Second Mother and confidant to me in my formative years as I came to understand myself as a furry and as a person. And she wasn't afraid to put me in my place when I needed it! (I needed it.) She also connected me with a lot of friends, furry and SL friends when I needed it the most.

"I'll be honest. I don't remember how we initially met in SecondLife. But I distinctly remember meeting her for the first time in person at RCFM, after she convinced me to attend my first con. At the time, even in the midst of a massive allergy attack, she was one of the warmest and most wonderful people in the world. And she immediately made me feel welcome and at peace.

"She was there to help set me on the path for many things in my life! I remember I was a pretty generic wolf AV for a while but decided to try out a German Shepherd for a Dog Days of Summer Saturday Dance. She told me that it fit me so much more, and she was right. Kind of a small example, but I always felt that she truly saw me as a person ... dog person. (smile)

"Unfortunately I haven't been in contact with Lacy for years, and I truly regret that. But I feel blessed to have had the chance to know her. The Earth is less bright with our loss, but I know her spirit is dancing with stardust. I love you, Lacy."

Next was CmdrKitsune Webb, "I'll keep it short. I met Lacy when I first starting doing conventions. I either met her at MFM or MFF. There was a whole crew of people from the Mid-South area that hit those two conventions. Lacy and Yotewah were the ones who convinced me to attend Rocket City FurMeet. But I really have to give Lacy the credit for getting me to come down to Alabama where I made a number of friends. She truly was an enabler of friendships. I will miss her dearly, but the friendships she helped me create will live on! Thank you all for being here."

Then came Morgan Freepony (illya Leonov), "I will be brief, because I do not type well. When I was a lad, men did not type. I am paying for that now each day. I have known Lacy for longer than most of you. I met her in 1996. She was working at a screen printer across town and I was repairing some of their equipment. I immediately fell in love with her. We dated for two years. Then she broke my heart and let me tell you if you have not had your heart broken by her you have not loved. All of our hearts are broken tonight. But I still loved her. I always will. She was like that. She gave me my dear Greyhound Iris who was my companion for many years. She rescued dogs. She rescued people. No one person could know all the things Lacy loved and did. There was simply too much of her. There was more than enough of her for everyone. She led me to furry, which led me to Kittie, my love. And Kittie led me to Pony, which has opened up SO much of my life and given me direction.

"I am looking at my wall now which holds an incredibly beautiful portrait of a unicorn which she drew. Everywhere that I look in my life I see the influence of Lacy. She has sat beside me at work now every day for over ten years. In the days leading up to her passing, we were in negotiations for her to buy my screenprinting business. She was SO happy and excited about it. I was going to be HER employee for a change. So many facets of my life will be affected by losing her. So many places in my heart.  ALL of the places in my heart. I will miss her so much. My life will never be that same. But, my life will ALWAYS be so so much richer for having known her, as will the lives of countless others. I love you all, thank you."

Next up was the one whom had transcribed those speaking in voice, Oscelot Haalan, "I wrote this in advance because I knew I wouldn't have the words when I got here. I am her sister, Oscelot. I wear with me the avatar of our sister Amehana, who couldn't be here tonight due to a prior engagement. I'm not prepared to memorialize her yet - I think I would shatter. But I wanted to say a few things quickly. I wanted to say thank you. It means so much to me to see so many lives she touched. It means so much to me that you are sharing these facets of her life and love that I never got to see from my limited perspective. I also wanted to let you know that I am fiercely devoted to safeguarding her legacy, and that all are welcome in Dreaming Twilight. We will hold a memorial there within the next week or two, and all will be welcome there. Also remember. Our hearts are still here. We live. Remember her with joy. Do not stop telling her tales. Do not let her be forgotten. We do not die until we pass out of memory.

Inconspicuous Hammerer was the next speaker, "Lacy let me follow her around sometimes while I told stupid stories that may have partially been made up. She never got annoyed and wasn't ashamed to introduce me to a friend. I regret I didn't stay in touch. Because she put my avatar vendor in the vendor forest, she helped me raise $51 for the Humane Society."

Then came the most popular of the four founders of Luskwood, Michi Lumin, "When this world was new, we were all finding our way. awkwardly. . . . . Rocket City was one of our first allies. and to us, Lacy was the face of that. Eltee got to fly out and spend time with the Rocket City FurMeet folks. I never did.but,  I was in her orbit for about 12 years here. As we went through this -- Second Life, a swirling sequence of joy and mess, Lacy was a constant. That allegiance was never in question. When I had health problems and running some of the regions were piling up on me, I would get messages like this from her:

[2015/06/06 15:02] Lacy (lacy.musketeer): Just figured a hug would help.

"This was the pattern, with her.  It was never me coming to her. It was her coming to me when she saw that I needed it. I can count on one hand, not even a full hand, the number of people who do that. The last time I talked to Lacy we were talking about a sick cat.  I had logged off, -- the last things I got from her......

[11:58] A'ri (lacy.musketeer): (Saved Mon Jul 24 06:55:16)Michi.
[11:58] Michi Lumin: mmh yeh Lacy?
[11:58] User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.
[19:51] A'ri (lacy.musketeer): Thank you. *hug*
[19:51] A'ri (lacy.musketeer): Thank you. For everything.

"People who don't take you for granted are the ones who are thinking about you when  you're not there, not engaged with them at the time. It's not a common quality. I never knew then I'd never get to thank her. And I think back to it and, I just wish I had called that out then because I remember thinking, 'Wow. people don't do that out of time and place like that.' We're still getting over a shock because she was constant. It still feels like I could light up her IM now. She definitely left 'in media res.' But, the magnitude of that shock that we feel is directly proportional to the impact someone had on us. The fact that we hurt right now, it means that she was a powerful force. Thats what we're feeling now, we're feeling her force, her impact, her goodness. So, let yourselves hurt. It honors her spirit, everything she was. Let what she's put out into this world become part of you, formative for the rest of your lives. Integrate her into your lives and carry her with you, so she gets to travel with all of us throughout the remainder of ours.

"No,   *thank you, Lacy.* ...  there's my final offline message to you, Lacy."

Next was Camstone Fox (Camstone Box), "Like many, I came to the convention at Huntsville. I had been a furry for only a short time, but I fell in love with the convention, the area, and most importantly, many of you. Lacy was special, because the one thing I certainly remember, was the hug that I received when I came there. I met Brody, Alex, Ko, and so many others. Then I came here to SecondLife. And here was RCFM too. I was amazed at the care it had taken to replicate the convention hotel, the spaces, and even the Apollo Moon Mission rocket. A lot of things can be replicated. Friendships, cannot. Friendships must be given. Friendships, like hugs are things that once given, are always there.

"As we all look around at each other, I see my friends. I see the friends of Lacy, and I feel the hugs that she gave us all. As you feel that hug that she gave you, remember this. You have the ability to share that friendship, and that hug that she gave all of us, with others. And I will end with the thought that she would want that. I'll end  with this from Shakespeare, in Richard the II, 'I count myself in nothing else so happy -  As in a soul remembering my good friends.' And for me, as you are, Lacy is a good friend to me. And I will always remember that."

Bunny Mickley (Bunny Halberd) would tell everyone, "Her family has stared a GoFundMe to help with funeral expenses. https://www.gofundme.com/f/the-magic-of-friendship-beyond-life." Then added, "Illya would like to close with one last poem if we're at the end."

Morgan Freepony then spoke up, "I have been asked to give the eulogy at her funeral. It is a great honor to me. There is a poem I wrote years ago for a grieving friend. Lacy loved the poem. I am going to paste it here."

For those who grieve..
And those who love them.

Darkness floods the  pathways of our minds
And we plumb its depth for answers
We struggle to grasp the richness of life
While avoiding its own grasping tentacles
Meeting on common ground
We seek the path of those who surround us.
We look into our hearts for their pain
And into their hearts for ours
If we are cut, then we look to the wounds of others for consolation
We try to understand another’s pain by looking at our own.
In many ways this suffices,
Indeed it will have to do so.
But do not look for the loss of another’s loved one
In your own eyes,
Or the loss of your loved one in theirs.
For while cuts and sores
May be equivalent,
Human lives are not, nor are
Those of any animal.
There are as many worlds as there are minds,
And each one unique.
This is the beauty of life,
And its tragedy as well.
For we are spared the true loss of another’s pain
and they are free from ours.
Our joys and our sorrows belong to our own unique worlds
The windows of the soul are very small
And it is with great patience and care
That souls are ever shared.

Morgan got quite a bit of applause, "Thank you, Illya. That's beautiful." "That's a lovely poem." "I can't think of a better way to wrap up."

With that, the speeches, ended, and people began to head out, or chat, "She will be a hard act to follow.  I'm honored to have known her." "I'm glad to see you all, just wish it wasn't because of this. ... Hey, maybe she'll meet Stephen Hawking!" "I didn't know her that well, but it really warms my heart hearing her story told and seeing just how many hearts shes touched in such different, unique ways." "Lacy told me to make a whippet av and I did, and when i showed it to her she said she liked it even though it wasn't actually that great."

Eventually, the crowd got smaller as people went there separate ways.

There is another memorial service planned to take place at Nisa, though it's date still has yet to be determined.

Bixyl Shuftan

Memorial Service For Relayers Henrietta and Hilshire Demina

By Bixyl Shuftan and Gemma Cleanslate

On Thursday January 18, it was announced in the Relay for Life Volunteers group that the leader of the Strange Journey team, Henrietta Demina (Barbara Parker in real life), had died along with her real-life brother Hilshire Demina (Bill Parker) in a car accident. On Saturday January 27, friends and supporters of her held a memorial service at her family's home in Castle Ravensloft in Redshift. The sim was packed for most of the event, so some listened to the broadcrast stream from the Legends club in Arinultra Cay, courtesy of T1 Radio. At the castle chapel, there were two caskets in front of the audience chairs, with pictures of the departed placed on the walls.

"I am going to ad-lib the first part... " Rowena Dubrovna, the little otter of Strange Journey started the service, "First, I wanted to say that her real-life sister requested that we put out a Relay for Life kiosk so we have one in between the caskets here. Also, I am overwhelmed as is everyone else on how many people are here from Castle Home and Garden, Relay For Life, etc. .. it amazes me. Now on script Mady."

Rowena composed herself and restarted, "Hello everyone and thank you for coming to Henrietta and Hilshire's memorial. I've had to say this  several times the last two weeks and it hasn't gotten any easier. Henrietta and Hilshire were brother and sister in the grid and in real life. They were driving to Wal Mart for a late night run, just an hour after Hen and I were discussing the Castle Home and Garden, when a driver who was texting rammed right into their car and took their lives from them.

"I want to make a note, some of you are probably thinking, 'how morbid are those Strange people for putting out a casket in Second Life.' But trust me, these two are the type who would want a casket at a thing like this. They had caskets all over this castle and all we had to do was move it over here. They were vampires. I got a letter from Henrietta sent to me by her real-life sister. She wrote it after her mini stroke in July-- and it said 'This letter is to tell you of my demise.' Just using that word, demise, shows us who Henrietta is. Morbidly sarcastic. Also, we are in Henrietta's design-- her castle (from Lady Nansen, as she would want me to credit her), and her land. I do not know how much longer this land will be here. I strongly encourage you guys to just wander around. It is incomplete- she was in the middle of renovation. She was deeply, deeply committed to making the sim the way she wanted it to be. She never advertised it because she didn't want all this attention on her, but take a look. The castle. The dragons- oh, the dragons! there are 20 or 30 out there, and hundreds of eggs. It kills me that they are just sitting there and there is nothing I can do about it.

"I thought I would take a few minutes to talk about who they were. You'll hear speeches today in their memory, how they made a difference, but Henrietta in particular was very much involved with her Second Life family.

"Barbara and Bill Parker lived a fulfilling life by anyone's standards. They were far too young to have their lives taken from them, but I can at least rest easy that they were happy. They were both very close to their real life family, and very much appreciated a solitary, quiet life. Henrietta had several odd jobs after retiring, such as limo driver. Hilshire did the same. At some point they agreed to live together because they were both single, and they lived in Missouri. Henrietta was very fond of talking about her ferrets. Hilshire and Henrietta both were very vested in music and the world of music. In addition, Hilshire fell in love with building in a virtual world before Henrietta and taught Henrietta everything she knows. Before we knew it, she had designed several castles!

"Henrietta Demina, or Barbara Parker, found Second Life over ten years ago with Hilshire and for a while they found it to be a great release. Hilshire took a step back from Second Life several years ago but Henrietta started a new journey, Relay for Life of Second Life. And that's where she made a difference in our lives. My short snippet above should tell you how they made a difference their whole lives, but Henrietta's work for Relay for Life made her who she was. I thought I would tell you some of her favorite things. Her favorite holiday was Halloween- not only does it embody her spirit, but that's her birthday.

"With that, I am going to turn things over to our speeches today. The way we are approaching this memorial is we will have a speech, and then a song played. This will go a little over an hour, but we are here for Henrietta and Hilshire after all. Today you will hear from mostly Relay people, but some of her Bloodlines family is here as well."

The next speech was given by NinaSofia Constantine, "A quote from Albert Sweitzer, 'At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.' Henrietta was a flame igniter!  It didn't matter which team event you were at she was there shedding her light.  She was that little shinning star always beautiful.  I always called her  "Henrietta the cutie." Her loyalty to her friends, her passion for Relay and her humor are what stands out to me the most. Henrietta was one of those avatars who you could see directly to her heart. Her light is no longer with us but I have no doubt it shines brighter! Those of us that knew herand Relayed with her will carry the light she ignited within us. She will never be forgotten."

Next came Cuddly Waffle, "'Hey, ev'rybody!' That's a Henri greeting right there.

"Firstly, thank you all for being here today. I like to think that both Hen and Hil would have been blown away by the love in this room.Last Friday morning, as I was getting ready for work, I opened up a facebook message from Rowena. 'I've got bad news,' he said, 'message me so I can let you know.' I rolled my eyes and carried on putting my socks on, sure in my assumption that our darling otter was being melodramatic, as he so charmingly can be. But, I shot a quick message back, 'What's up?'

"The little typing symbol appeared, then disappeared, then reappeared. It did this a few times. Then a message: 'Are you in a position to take ten/twenty min to yourself to recover?' Something in me rippled; this wasn't Otterli. This was serious. 'Ish, I leave for work in ten!' 'Ok I will tell you when you are in a better state.' But I couldn't wait. I knew something was seriously wrong and I couldn't spend the day at work not knowing, 'Tell me now.'

"The typing symbol flickered again for a minute. Then the message came that shattered my reality, 'Henrietta died. Hilshire and Henrietta were in killed in an accident and they are no longer with us.'

I read the message over and over, and each time it made less sense. I could vaguely hear my real-life partner Thomas saying 'What's wrong?'

"'My friend is dead,' I said, 'My friend is dead.'

"Since Henrietta and Hilshire crash-landed into our mad little family, they have been stoic, sturdy figures of reliability, dependence, and dedication. I couldn't piece together the reality I was experiencing. When I thought of Hen and Hil, the very last phrase I would have paired them with was 'gone forever.'

"But then I realized, over the next few days, they aren't really gone. Not really. 'Those we love never truly leave us' - Albus Dumbledore. Hen was still all around us. I could hear her daft giggle gesture echoing, and I smiled. What would she say if she could see us now? 'See how ya are?' she'd say. 'Y'all are daft!' *giggle*

"Hen and Hil gave us the most precious thing you can have in life - real or second. Years of good memories, wonderful times, hard work, dedication and effort. True friendship and a bond that will be remembered for the rest of our lives.

"I'd like to leave you with a single quote that I saved from Henri at Relay last year, because it made me laugh so hard. It wasn't like Hen to be crude or tell rude jokes, but this one was perfect - it was cheeky, but perfectly subtle, just like her.

"'Henrietta Demina: I was gonna take a pic with a dog once, but he didn't like where I tried to put the film.'

"O captain my captain, I miss you so."

Following Cuddly's speech, the music stream played the song "Tears in Heaven." Then Sidonie Carlberg, the tiny sugar glider, read a poem.

My heart is broken
and my mind is grey
so many things unspoken
so much left to say
the time just ran out
when we didn‘t see

O Captain, my Captain,
please, come back to me.

I can still see your smile
and your giggle I hear
and once in a while
I can feel you‘re still near.
Can‘t you wake me up
from this nightmare as such

O Captain, my Captain,
I miss you so much.

And yet I am thankful
please, don‘t get me wrong
for every moment
and I will be strong.
My limbs, they may tremble
but I walk through the rain

O Captain, my Captain,
until we meet again.

Next, Nuala Maracas gave a few words, "Henrietta was someone we took for granted would be around for much longer. As family, as friends, as a community, we express our sadness, we acknowledge our loss, acknowledge the great importance of Henrietta's life, and the loss to us all that her passing brings. Of course it wouldn't be right to talk about Henrietta without mentioning her larger virtual family and friends  from the Relay For Life of Second Life Community.  From her beloved Team Strange Journey along with the Castle Home and Garden mini mega, to the hundreds of relayers and relay teams she supported, Henrietta was alway around. Quietly offering words of encouragement and support. The first to raise her hand when a DJ was needed, the first to say, 'I can help, what do you need.' She was one of the ones who drank the purple cool-aide.

"I remember the first time I met Henrietta. I had always seen this little girl around at various Relay For Life events for a few months, our conversation consisting of nothing more than 'Hi Henrietta' ... 'Hi Nuala.'  Then one day, my IM box opens up with Henrietta asking where she can find a logo of that particular years theme. We started chatting, and I realized, this woman is really passionate about Relay. The next time I saw her was at a Jail & Bail fundraiser where she stood outside of a wooden jail cell in the forest, where she was  appearing to be a referee between a little girl named Cuddly and an otter named Rowena who were bantering back and forth on whether it was correct for a caged otter to pee on someone's shoe. I never laughed so hard and thought, this is one strange family, but they all fit together so well." Someone chuckled, and Rowena gave Cuddly a look.

Nuala continued, "It is true that there is much sadness here today, but, all of your journeys taken with Henrietta during her time in this virtual world will live on in each of you, enriching, guiding, and perhaps making you pause and smile every now and then. This is what we will remember.  (This is how we will Remember our Henrietta."

Someone then had a few words about the brother, "I wanted to take the opportunity to talk about Hilshire as I know most of you did not know him. I knew him as an e-mail buddy the last five years. The one thing I noticed above all else... is how everything was all about Henrietta. That should tell us one thing- the love between brother and sister was strong. I swear, every email I got from said something like 'Henrietta is bothering me again.' 'Henrietta is bugging me to.' Henrietta this, Henrietta that. Looking back it makes me feel bad that we didn't talk about Hilshire enough. But what I do know of Hilshire is his warm, sweet, caring heart. He was the "leader" of their vampire clan until he left, and he enjoyed the roleplaying very much. I can't really say much more than this on Hilshire, and he wouldn't want me to. But I can say this- thank you for everything. And on behalf of me, Sid, Cuddly, Nina and all of us-- thank you for taking care of Henrietta. You didn't deserve to have your life taken away from you the way you did, but it gives me some solace, some peace that you are with Henrietta today. God works in mysterious ways. I often tell myself that I don't believe in a God, that he or she would never inflict this much pain and suffering in our lives if he or she did exist. But situations like this make me think, we are all part of God's plan. You and Henrietta moved in together and you took care of Henrietta through thick and thin-- and she took care of you. So, now that can continue- that eternal bond, that forever saving grace. Thank you."

Next was Madonna Daehlie, "For me, one of the most special things about Relay has been getting to know so many amazing people, and I would certainly qualify Henrietta as amazing. Over the years, I've had the privilege of getting to talk to her, seeing her at events, listening to her DJ, and even working directly with her, like at last month's Christmas Expo.

"The two things that always stood out the most with her were her tireless work ethic, and her kindness and compassion.

"Whether it would be helping to run Team Strange Journeys, DJ'ing an event, helping to run the Castle Home and Garden Contest, or just seeming to be everywhere, Henrietta was like the Energizer Bunny. And, during the Expo, it seemed like anytime something came up and Kitty and I needed a host to fill in, we could count on Henrietta stepping up and helping out, even if it meant going 3 or 4 hours straight.

"Even more amazing, though, is that in all the years I'd known Henrietta, I never saw her say anything negative about anyone or anything. She always seemed to be positive, no matter what was going on or how busy she was. She treated everyone with kindness and respect and compassion, and just seemed to truly like and care about everyone she was around. Being around her brightened up my day, and I imagine everyone else who was around her felt the same way.

"I'm going to miss Relaying with her. More than that, I'm going to miss having her around. Thank you for all you brought to Relay, Henrietta. Thank you for making the world a better place. Second Life's a little less bright with you gone.

"Rest in peace, my friend."

After the music stream played "Somewhere Over The Rainbow," Random Darrow then gave a few lines (unfortunately, the notes of which were lost). After the song "Wind Beneath My Wings" played, Kitty Gumbo had some words, "When Rowena asked if I would like to speak about Henrietta, I just didn't know where to start.  First, I am honored to write about the Henrietta we all knew and loved.
I cannot remember when I first met Hen. She just always seemed to be part of Relay. So, I'm going to write about the things I do remember.  It seemed Henrietta was a part of so many things. She was a fantastic and creative builder. She was good at organizing and she was always  reliable. and willing to help. This past Christmas Expo, Henrietta was a host for our entertainment.   Madonna, my co-lead, and I were busy trying to fill in spots where people wouldn't show up or they couldn't come. Henrietta was right there to fill in. That was Henrietta. She quietly filled in and did her job. If there was something that needed to be built, she had it expertly finished. All of these projects were volunteered. I cannot think of the hours she put in at each project. Yet, she never complained and she never asked for a thank you. I'm going to miss her quiet efficient presence. Her kind encouraging words were always just what was needed.  Good bye dear one. You will be very missed."

Sara Llewellyn (Sarandel Llewellyn) recited some poetry.
'Look into my eyes
You will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart
Search your soul
And when you find me there, you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do
I do it for you.' -Bryn Adams

Beneath the smoking skies.
Sometimes you can barely tell the difference
Between darkness and light.
Do you have faith
In what we believe?
The truest test is when we cannot,
When we cannot see.
I hear pounding feet in the,
In the streets below, and the,
And the women crying and the,
And the children know that there,
That there's something wrong,
And it's hard to believe that love will prevail.
Oh it can't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
Your tears won't fall forever.

Rowena Dubrovna gave the final speech, "I am sitting here at my computer, not knowing what to say. It's not so much that I can't speak of how much you made a difference, but the fact that I can't decide how I feel. At least with some illnesses you can prepare yourself, you know it's coming-- but you passed away without any kind of notice. It makes me hyper aware of how fragile life can be-- how broken, how scary. How am I supposed to know if I can say "see ya later", when the next thing I know, you're gone?

"I've known you for five years- five years that have gone by like the speed of light. First you were on Relay Ravens team. I remember you were basically alone, even though the Demina clan was 'behind' you. Hilshire had pretty much left Second Life at that point. Then after that we kind of just took off. We combined our teams and that was the take off point! We talked about just about everything and anything. I remember you recently were listening to me whine about my teenager. We talked a lot. We talked about the Castle Home and Garden almost every day didn't we. What frustrates me so bad is I always felt like people didn't see you and didn't see what you did. It's so like you to just fade in the background and let others take credit for things that you did. I honestly don't even know where to start with what you did. I stand here today, or sit rather, and I am telling people.. you blew me away. I feel bad because sometimes you made the Castle Home and Garden your full time job and you should have stepped back, taken a break. Sometimes I still feel that people don't give you credit when credit is due. You know what they say, the best artists don't get their fame until after they die. Is that what you're doing?

"In the aftermath of your death, I started to feel the love for you. You've always been short and sweet and to the point. You never really told me how much impact you made, and how much you were aware of it-- I'm realizing more now than ever that you spread your wings and you really knew how to fly. For Christmas Expo you helped me put out 30 some trees... but you did so much more than that. You took pictures of them, you aligned them, you organized them... it was amazing what you did. When I worked the Fashion Faire you were right beside me helping out the whole way. You DJ'ed for almost every single team. You embodied the meaning of Relay. People may not realize it, but you did.

"I don't think Relay is about teams, about competition, about you versus me. I think you helped us all realize why we do what we do- we do this so we can save lives, right? But it is just as much about community as it is about saving lives. We fight for each other, with each other, sometimes we yell at each other to make sure things are organized.

"Last year we didn't raise so much for Team Strange Journey. The years before that we raised some but it never came from your pocket. I hope people realize how much money you and Hil collected over the years. You'd never divulge, but I was right there with you. I know it was upwards in the thousands. I know you lived in a trailer and were poor, but you didn't care. You wanted others to feel encouraged. When we support others, then they will start supporting others, too. Not a penny went to the Team Strange Journey kiosk, but you poured your heart and soul out in everyone else's. You didn't care if it was Trader's kiosk or Bella's kiosk or Melodie's or whoever. It was all the same to you.

"You saw the goodness in everyone's heart. You encouraged everyone to be themselves, you encouraged them to become the shining light of Relay. You are the true spirit of Relay, and we recognize that more now than ever. That spirit and undying loyalty and commitment you had to Relay, you had to me, you had to all of us-- we won't forget that. Of this I promise.

"If anyone is ever feeling discouraged, or feels the need to criticize someone or see the negative and rather than helping improve, spit on them-- I hope they think of you. There is no place for negativity or drama in your world, and there is certainly no place for drama or negativity in our lives or in Relay.

"I hope you all realize how much it bothered Henrietta if there was drama present. She was a no drama llama, and you should be too. Henrietta would want you to remember why we are all here-- not only are we fighting for our loved ones, but we are fighting for each other, with each other, always.

"Henrietta, thank you for everything. Thank you for being such a good friend. You made the Castle Home and Garden what it is-- and we will hold it in your honor this year. I promise we will have Team Strange Journeys and I promise we will fight on. Thank you for touching the lives of so many. Thank you for dealing with so many people for me even if they made you crazy. Our merchants, our builders, our Relayers all love you. Thank you for staying up with me at night when I was bored out of my mind in the hospital last year. Thank you for always worrying about me. Thank you for being such a good friend for Sid and Cuddly when we were in need of a friend like you. Now I end with one of Hens' favorite poems, which is eerily connected to today... I love you Hen."

Rowena then recited a poem, "Because I could not stop for Death" by Emily Dickinson.

Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me – 
The Carriage held but just Ourselves – 
And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring – 
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain – 
We passed the Setting Sun –

Or rather – He passed us –
The Dews drew quivering and chill –
For only Gossamer, my Gown –
My Tippet – only Tulle –

We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground –
The Roof was scarcely visible –
The Cornice – in the Ground –

Since then – ‘tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses’ Heads
Were toward Eternity – 

Following the poem, the music stream played "The Show Must Go On." Like the title of the song, although the Relayers had lost a comrade and friend, but the purpose of the Relay for Life goes on.

* * * * *

I myself came to the memorial late, after some had left the area. I would rely on notes from Gemma Cleanslate and Rowena to write this article, Gemma also providing most of the pictures. As a Relayer myself, this story was a little closer than most. The Strange Journey team might not have been around for as long as some, but their antics had always drawn attention and laughs. And now, we were crying as we were saying goodbye to their captain and her brother.

Rest in peace Henrietta and Hilshire Demina

Bixyl Shuftan

The 9/11 Anniversary in Second life (Sept (2009)

 Originally published on Sept 13, 2009 in Second Life Newspaper, by Bixyl Shuftan

It was eight years ago that the deadliest terrorist attack on the United States struck, damaging the Pentagon, destroying the New York World Trade Center, and killing about 3000 people. In real life, ceremonies were held across the country. Thousands came together near “Ground Zero.” Other ceremonies were held at the Pentagon, the crash site of Flight 93 near Shanksville Pennsylvania, and other places where people gathered to honor those whom were killed.

In Second Life, a number of memorials have also been built. large and small. Probably the largest (in sim area coverage) and most attended was the September 11th Memorial in the dAlliez Land Headquarters sim. It was a pool of water with a walkway around it, surrounded by four marble walls, etched with the names of the fallen. One corner was open, showing a number of pictures of those who died that day. Rain was falling, adding to the atmosphere of sorrow.

Numerous avatars of all shapes stopped by to pay their respects, leaving behind flowers, wreaths, flags, pictures of Christ, and other momentos. Among one pride of feral cats sitting near one group of wreaths and flowers, “ ... my Grandpa was trying to save some people up in some of the floors, and sadly while it was collapsing, he didn't make it. But he was brave and he saved the people. Well some. (sad) “ (shocked expression) At least he died saving people. (sad)” A vixen looked at the pictures, “... look at them, white, black, Christian, Jewish, Muslim ... “ One man commented, “I was a solider, and spent the next four years of my life shortly after chasing and killing these S.O.B.s. I hope these families are at peace today, for me going over there would be lost.” People nearby thanked him, but he humbly responded, “No, I’m just a small part. ... God bless these families.”

Alliez Mysterio, a real estate businesswoman in Second Life, is the owner of the land the memorial is on, “People started coming in last night and it has not stopped, she told me. “I donated the land, 1/4 sim. It was an honor to do so. And today, increased the prims here to double.... The people coming here today were just wonderful.”

Alliez couldn’t give a total of how many showed up as the sim had been hit by griefers, “records were wiped out. It took over an hour to get the sim up. But Linden Lab was great with the help they gave me. ... Liam Kanno created this Memorial. ... this is the 2nd year it has been in existence. I met a guy here today who found his Dad’s name on the wall. I helped a girl find a friend on the wall. I hope more families will hear of this Memorial and consider adding their loved ones photos to be shared.”

Liam Kanno in real life is Odin Liam Wright, with his own article on the memorial: click HERE.

Regant Estates’ New York NYC sim had another memorial. Two transparent images of the World Trade Center Towers stood high in the air, ghostlike. On the streets nearby were a seemingly countless number of flags, going around the streetcorners. Most were American, but there was an occasional flag from Britain, Germany, Japan, South Korea, Venezuela, and other countries, a reminder the tragedy was international.

The NYC sim, New York City Block, is owned and built by a resident of the real life New York: Cheri Bing. Originally part of another sim, it later moved to it’s own. The Twin Towers have always been a lasting part of the sim since constructed, with American flags and a picture of a red white and blue ribbon: “9-11-2001 Never Forgotten.” For the 9/11 anniversary, the place was made into a memorial. Pictures of scenes of the day taken by a retired detective who was there that day were put up in the lobby and outside. Panels with links to a website for the families of 9/11 dead were set up. Fire trucks were parked outside. Memorial candles were placed on the sidewalk. A plaque with a poem tribute to firefighters was in front of the building. There was also a package that when touched would give someone a 9/11 t-shirt and hand-held candle. Residents passing by made their own contribution by dropping flowers on the sidewalk.

There was also a guestbook in which people could leave messages, Cheri saying, “I'm really glad the founder of the Africa sim asked if i had a guest book, which I bought right away as I think it is very nice to have. I will keep it here always as I will the Families of 911 website. ... Bethlee (Spad) created the lovely prayer plaque to distribute to all”

A media screen was also set up, Cindy Bolero streaming the documentary “9/11” about a group of firefighters whom were among those at the Towers that day. The film was originally going to be a in depth look at a rookie fireman, the camera taking casual scenes every day for the several days before. With the dark day, it took on a whole new purpose, showing the frefighters as they were going in, including some scenes taken from inside the north tower, not previously shown prior to this film. During the film was one firefighter whom anxiously awaited word of his brother, who was somewhere in the stairway of the tower. He was still in when it collapsed. The grieved firefighter was comforted by his peers, “Yesterday, you had a brother. Today, you have thirty.”

Of the people dropping by to pay their respects, many were in police or firefighter uniforms, often with tags identifying them in firefighter groups, “It is an honor to be apart of this remeberence.” There was also an avatar from the Justice League present as a security precaution against possible griefers.

Cheri talked some about the day, “... my son was at the World Trade Center every single day and that day he wasn't there. Also a cousin of mine worked on a higher floor and she had called in sick that day. ... My son's clients were in the towers though. He had courier service. Of course the business was no more after that but at least he lived.” Another resident talked about someone he knew living near the towers, and when they collapsed, a human torso landed on their porch.

Cheri also talked about a near confrontation that night. Some Pakistani shopowners were supposedly celebrating the collapse of the towers, and a number of young adults were talking about going over to fight. Fortunately, the police were there to prevent an ugly scene. One man talked about how at first he wanted the kids to have gotten the chance to beat up the Moslems, but after some time to think instead invited everyone in the neighborhood, including the shopkeepers in question, to gather together for a vigil in honor of those who fell.

There was a little talk about the “Truthers,” those whom thought the 9/11 attacks were not caused by Islamofacist terrorists, but a secret plot from within the US Government. One man commented, “There were plenty of studied done on (the collapse of the towers). The jet fuel and fire caused intense structural damage. I actually work with the wife of the guy who lead it. ... sort of sucked for her. They got death threats and phone calls/letters from all the conspiracy theorists. He was one of the leads of the final independent report. Stephen Cauffman is his name: NIST report at: wtc.nist.gov.”

Besides Second Life Newspaper, the NYC sim's memorial was also reported on by CNN’s iReport, "Not all areas of Second Life memorializing 9/11 were as popular with many visitors. Some commented that a few individuals used the day to attempt to collect personal funds and/or celebrate the day in a less than solemn atmosphere. Many commented that the NYC area by Cher provided a 'tasteful and respectful' approach to remembering the impact of 9/11; making it an excellent community site in the virtual world for people to continue to visit and express themselves."

The vigil at the NYC towers continued throughout the day and night, people still coming in at Midnight. Cheri thanked people for coming by.

*  *  *  *  *

The memorial at dAlliez Land Headquarters sim was grand, but eventually it would come down, Alliez eventually passing away from cancer. The New York City Block would fade into the virtual nether a couple years later, taking it's Twin Towers memorial with it.

Bixyl Shuftan